2 6 S p i r i t ua l i t y S t u d i e s 2 - 2 Fa l l 2 0 1 6 tray, and at times felt angry that I was suffering. I began to think about what I sincerely admired about their relationship, and what, more specifically, I hoped for myself. To that end, I wrote Lorraine a letter which acknowledged her for being an example of what I hope for in my own life, and with vulnerability I told her of my personal situation (about which at the time she knew nothing). For weeks, Lorraine and I attended our daughters’ sports games, and for weeks she did not say anything about the letter that I had written her. We discussed the wellbeing of the girls in vague terms, she asked if I wanted coffee, and held the door for me on several instances. Given that we had not yet discussed the acknowledgement letter, I became convinced that she thought that I had overstepped my bounds, or had expressed too much of my personal admiration for her and her relationship with her husband. Then, a few weeks later, Lorraine sent me a message via Facebook. She thanked me sincerely for the letter, and said that she was afraid to discuss with me face-to-face because she feared that she would become too emotional. She felt honoured that I admired her relationship with Ron, and invited me and my children to their home for dinner. While there, I casually mentioned that the kids and I were dreaming of one day skiing nearby, and immediately she offered me her timeshare points at a resort. Together Lorraine and I planned several more gatherings of women, including a group that now meets about once a month for dinner and conversation. Lorraine and I agree that without having written the acknowledgement that I did, none of this would have come to pass. 4 Reflection 4.1 Recipients Given that this acknowledgement experiment was completed during the academic year, it is not a surprise that a great deal of students (61% if current and former students are combined) were recipients of my acknowledgement letters. I included current students in the acknowledgement project because I wanted all of them to feel noticed and recognized. Many former students came to mind as I taught courses which I had instructed before; I was reminded of their contributions, and therefore my acknowledgements were directed to them while I was immersed in the academic semester. Although 61% of the letters in this experiment directed toward students may appear rather high, I believe that this was a product of the experiment being conducted during the academic year. If I participated in this project during the summer months (as I intend to do, and discuss below), I suspect that more letters would be directed toward family and friends. I sent about 20% of my acknowledgements to friends, including 12% to friends who are fellow members of the yoga studio in which I practice. As a member of a vibrant yoga community, the people with whom I practice are an integral part of my life, so I am again not surprised by this proportion of recipients. I see many of my “yoga friends” at least weekly; some are in the studio book club that I run, and several I communicate with every day. The yoga community is also a group which is very supportive and inclusive, and to whom spirituality is an inherent aspect in both the practice and in relationships. I have a significant regret in the outcome of this project. I sent only one acknowledgement letter to a family member (my aunt). As I reflect upon this project and the people to whom I chose to write, I believe that I was not brave enough to write to more members of my family. If I had it to do again (which I will), I would acknowledge my father for his creative spirit and sense of humour which keeps our family laughing. I would acknowledge my mother for her steadfast dedication to keeping our family intact and facilitating communication between and amongst us all. I would acknowledge my brother for his business acumen and skill in visualizing a project finished before he even starts. I would acknowledge my eldest child for her talent and commitment to her sports, and my youngest child for her sense of playfulness that has the ability to send us all into fits of laughter at just the right moment. I would acknowledge my best friend for being a wonderful mother to her adopted child. I therefore realize, upon reflection, that overall I did not write acknowledgement letters to the people closest to me. I won- der, why did I make this choice? I’m certain that all of my family members would feel pleased and honoured to receive an acknowledgement letter. Perhaps I feel that a single letter would not do my feelings justice: A written card certainly could not hold the depth of my feelings of awe, as Hyde (2006) describes, or so I thought. And so, I avoided it. I do not consider this experiment a failure, despite that I did not write to the people who are my most intimate soul companions. Rather, I will perceive of the first five months of my acknowledgement as a warmup – a priming of sorts. In my next iteration of acknowledgement writing, these people will be the first to receive recognition. Given the emotional proximity of these people to me, I will need to narrow my focus to perhaps one or two qualities in order that I can express myself appropriately in a card-length communique.
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