VOLUME 10 ISSUE 2 FALL 2024

Spirituality Studies 10-2 Fall 2024 27 Jeffrey Katzman, Ben Bernstein, Matthew Ponak At the earliest stage, the True Self is the theoretical position from which comes the spontaneous gesture and the personal idea. The spontaneous gesture is the True Self in action. Only the True Self can be creative and only the True Self can feel real. Whereas a True Self feels real, the existence of a False Self, results in a feeling unreal or a sense of futility… The True Self comes from the aliveness of the body tissues and the working of body functions including the heart’s action and breathing. It is closely linked with the idea of the Primary Process, and is, at the beginning, not reactive to external stimuli, but primary. While this gives us some window into the nature of a True Self, it leaves us with an ongoing question, how does one know when one has contacted it? Winnicott himself, unfortunately, goes on to describe the importance of understanding the False Self and its mechanisms in protecting the True Self but says: “There is but little point in formulating a True Self idea except for the purpose of trying to understand the False Self, because it does no more than collect together the details of the experience of aliveness.” (Winnicott 1984, 148). This raises a problem for any human being when considering Winnicott’s ideas: How is the True Self experienced? Is it merely the absence of a sense of futility and some vague sense of “aliveness”? Can the True Self develop and grow? Are there layers of depth to understand about this True Self? How might we build upon this idea to understand this notion of the True Self, absent the contaminants of the False Self accommodations? How do we know when we are “real”? While an understanding of the Self historically has involved much discourse around the various functions of this entity, increasingly there is interest in experiencing this Self. John Riker (2024, 94) in elaborating Kohut describes the felt experience of “erotic striving” as the somatosensory experience of the Self. This may relate to the experience Winnicott describes as a capacity to be alone – an idea in which the individual comfortable with their own self experience may enter into the realm of the experience of an “ego climax” or “ego orgasm” – the experience of listening to a piece of music, the potential experience in nature, or post orgasm lying next to another. These are experiences of being alone, yet with the felt experience of being connected to something greater. One can imagine that this is the felt experience of one’s authentic Self (Winnicott 1958, 34), and at times may border on the ecstatic. 2.3 Neuroradiology Through the advancement of science, there is an allure to discovering the actual location of this Self somewhere within the workings of the brain. Perhaps it can be located in a particular structure visible through PET scans or fMRI technologies. To some extent, this is true. We can indeed discover pathways within the brain associated with some aspects of the experience of the Self. One example of a set of neural connections, the default state network, is visualized when an individual is involved in deep states of meditation. It is an area involving the medial prefrontal cortex, the posterior cingulate, the lateral prefrontal cortex and hippocampus. It is involved in daydreaming, self-reflection, meditation, and consideration of autobiographical information. In a sense, if the Self had a brain-based location, it might be considered to operate through this network. Studies of meditation have demonstrated various experiences involved with other brain networks, including activation and deactivation of hypothalamic structures (Mohandas 2008, 63). Of particular interest to the thesis of this paper is a study involving individuals reciting Psalm 23. Individuals reciting this showed particular brain area activations. Their religious experience was mediated by a circuit involving the dorsolateral prefrontal and dorsomedial frontal cortex and medial parietal cortex (Azari et al. 2001, 1649). In a sense, then, neuroradiology may be on the way to discovering component parts of the brain involved in experiences of the Self. This may give actual credence to a component of the brain where a “Self” is housed, though rather than considering it a particular structure, science continues to point to a series of neural circuits involved in a variety of tasks that might be considered components of the Self. While a neuroanatomic image is compelling in our quest to discover the nature of the Self, this ultimately is limited to a documentation of some specific aspects of the brain involved in Self-related activities. Of course, the entire body would be involved in some way with these experiences through firing of various neurochemicals throughout. And ultimately, this leaves the patient only with the experience of receiving an explanation of what the Self might be down to the anatomic level. It does nothing really to identify and help facilitate the actual subjective experience of the Self or to understand it beyond the specific reified individual structure found in the brain. How might this Self be connected to something greater?

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