26 Spirituality Studies 10-1 Spring 2024 other than ourself, we are being swayed by our viṣayavāsanās, whereas when we attend to ourself and thereby subside in our own being, we are being swayed by our satvāsanā. The more we allow ourself to be swayed by our sat-vāsanā, therefore, the stronger it will thereby become, and the stronger it becomes, the more we will be inclined to be swayed by it. Moreover, to the extent to which we attend to ourself, we are thereby refraining from attending to anything else, so by being self-attentive we are not only strengthening our sat-vāsanā but correspondingly weakening our viṣaya-vāsanās, as Bhagavan implies in the tenth paragraph of Nāṉ Ār?: Even though viṣaya-vāsanās, which come from time immemorial, rise in countless numbers like ocean-waves, they will all be destroyed when self-attentiveness [Sa. svarūpa-dhyāna] increases and increases. Without giving room even to the doubting thought ‘So many vāsanās ceasing, is it possible to be only as svarūpa?’ it is necessary to cling tenaciously to self-attentiveness [Sa. svarūpa-dhyāna]. However great a sinner one may be, if instead of lamenting and weeping ‘I am a sinner! How am I going to be saved?’ one completely rejects the thought that one is a sinner and is steadfast in self-attentiveness [Sa. svarūpa-dhyāna], one will certainly be reformed. [39] Since all mental activity occurs under the sway of a vast array of viṣaya-vāsanās, they are constantly rising or appearing in the mind in countless numbers like waves in an ocean, as Bhagavan says here. Etymologically svarūpa means “own form”, so it is generally used in the sense of “real nature”, and when it is used on its own, as in this context, it implies ātma-svarūpa, “the real nature of oneself”, meaning ourself as we actually are, namely pure being-awareness, “I am”. Therefore svarūpa-dhyāna means “meditation or contemplation on our real nature”, and since our real nature is pure being, which is what shines within us as our fundamental awareness “I am”, svarūpa-dhyāna in effect means “self-attentiveness”. Therefore the first sentence of this paragraph, “Even though viṣayavāsanās, which come from time immemorial, rise in countless numbers like ocean-waves, they will all be destroyed when svarūpa-dhyāna increases and increases” (Ta. “toṉḏṟutoṭṭu varugiṉḏṟa viṣaya-vāsaṉaigaḷ aḷavaṯṟaṉavāy-k kaḍal-alaigaḷ pōl tōṉḏṟiṉum avai-yāvum sorūpa-dhyāṉam kiḷamba-k kiḷamba aṙindu-viḍum”), implies that to the extent to which we keep our mind or attention fixed firmly on ourself, our viṣayavāsanās will thereby be weakened and will eventually be destroyed. Therefore without giving room to the rising of any other thoughts, such as the doubt whether it is possible for us to succeed in this endeavour, “it is necessary to cling tenaciously to self-attentiveness” (Ta. “sorūpa-dhyāṉattai viḍā-p-piḍiyāy-p piḍikka vēṇḍum”), because “if one is steadfast in self-attentiveness, one will certainly be reformed” (Ta. “sorūpa-dhyāṉattil ūkkam uḷḷavaṉāha v-irundāl avaṉ niścayamāy uru-p-paḍuvāṉ”). Such tenacity and steadfastness in this practice are necessary because time and time again, under the sway of our viṣaya-vāsanās, our attention will inevitably be diverted away from ourself towards other things, so whenever it is diverted we need to steadfastly turn it back towards ourself and then cling tenaciously to self-attentiveness. Tenacious perseverance in this practice is therefore necessary until all our viṣaya-vāsanās are destroyed without leaving a trace (meaning destroyed along with ego, their root), as Bhagavan says in the eleventh paragraph of Nāṉ Ār?: As long as viṣaya-vāsanās exist within the mind, so long is the investigation who am I necessary. As and when thoughts appear, then and there it is necessary to annihilate them all by investigation [Sa. vicāraṇā] in the very place from which they arise. Not attending to anything other is dispassion [Sa. vairāgya] or desirelessness [Sa. nirāśā]; not leaving oneself is awareness [Sa. jñāna]. In truth both are just one. Just as pearl-divers, tying stones to their waists and sinking, pick up pearls that are found at the bottom of the ocean, so each one, sinking deep within oneself with vairāgya, may obtain the self-pearl [Ta. ātma-muttu]. If one clings fast to uninterrupted self-remembrance [Sa. svarūpa-smaraṇa] until one attains svarūpa, that alone is sufficient. So long as enemies are within the fortress, they will be continuously coming out from it. If one is continuously cutting them all down as and when they come, the fortress will be captured. [40] Since ego is the root of all viṣaya-vāsanās, being the one whose vāsanās they are, and since the very nature of ego is to have viṣaya-vāsanās, they cannot all be destroyed until ego itself is destroyed. Therefore the first sentence of this paragraph, “As long as viṣaya-vāsanās exist within the mind, so long is the investigation who am I necessary” (Ta. “maṉattiṉgaṇ edu-varaiyil viṣaya-vāsaṉaigaḷ irukkiṉḏṟaṉavō, adu-varaiyil nāṉ-ār eṉṉum vicāraṇai-y-um vēṇḍum”), implies that so long as we continue to rise and stand as ego, it is necessary for us to investigate and know what we actually are.
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